For myself: Conversations Do Matter & Big Change Starts with Me.

We’re in unprecedented times, and it’s up to us to actively participate in shaping the new norms of our world not only on a grand scale, but on an individual scale as well. What this epidemic has taught, and reinforced for me, is that people of color are experiencing the fallout from this disease at a highly disproportionate rate. Social media and news outlets have bombarded us with injustice after injustice to the point where desensitization has occurred. This outpour of injustice has really made me think critically about what I can do… and how we can appropriately process what is happening around and within us? 

As a country we are, in high frequency, witnessing a black and brown experience that, in my opinion, at its core has taken the physical form of the term gaslighting all derived from a social construct of race. To paraphrase the words of Malcolm X, healing and progress cannot begin within this country without first completely removing the knife from the backs of the many minorities that are still experiencing the fallout of a corrupted ego and mental disease diluted in superiority and blind privilege. But back to the question at hand though, lol. What I’ve learned about myself during COVID-19 is that how I speak to myself and those around me really does matter, especially during this race charged climate where silence from colleagues, peers and family is a response. What this experience has also taught me, really reinforced, is that whether professional or personal, if there is a change that I seek it must begin with me and how I show up in my day to day.

In a professional development I recently attended hosted by the Coalition of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC), Dr. Shawn Ginwright states that depending on the many goals we may set, especially the out of the park, grand slam, change the world type goals, there may be a need for cathedral type thinking. To elaborate, when the decision is made to build a cathedral, or at least the ones from back in the day, there is a forethought that must take place surrounding the overall goal, or big picture. Essentially, the individuals involved in the early stages of building this monument have an understanding that they may never see the structures completion. However, the reflective acceptance of this thought does not change the importance, effort or even contribution to the project at hand. I believe that our ancestors had this type of cathedral thinking when fighting for the civil rights of people of color in this country. While I naively believed my generation was witnessing the accomplishment of our ancestors in its fruition, we know through a multitude of unjust experiences within 2020 alone that this is not the case and there is more work to be done in solving our collective problem. 

While I still have my individual work to do to affect the kind of change I envision on both personal and professional levels, a recent project with COSEBOC has revitalized and refocused my intention on my goals. To be transparent, for me this means I have to continue putting forth the effort to gain access to places and rooms where I am able to collaborate with like minded individuals and organizations to grow as a facilitator of that change, not only in my classroom, but in life. With the recent, but not so recent assault on yet another black and brown body in this country I found myself feeling defeated, exhausted and with a pessimistic view of the world. Being presented with the opportunity to curate, let alone participate in a conversation with educators from around the country, along with the space to reflect on my experience publicly, has been the therapy or better yet a conversation I didn’t know I needed. In a world where discussions are being had about how to co-create the new norms of a post-quarantine society I know that I want to be apart of those talks to learn, provide prospective and process my feelings of anger, inadequacy and anxiety. 

In closure here are my takeaways from the virtual conference: Whether environmental or individual, Dr. Shawn Ginwright proclaims that so many of us focus on coping from symptoms of trauma versus healing the trauma we have been exposed to no matter how big or small. My ah ha moment came from a term during this keynote called Persistent Traumatic Stress Environment – PTSE – not to be confused with PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. To briefly explain, PTSE refers to a type, and degree, of social toxicity in which the social environment a family develops and operates within is poisonous. In essence this poisonous environment, typically found in socioeconomically disadvantaged areas, threatens a persons ability to develop identity, competence, moral reasoning, trust and hope, which based on Dr. Ginwright’s research, is correlated to a persons ability to succeed within school, family, work and their community. While this information is presented as indicators, they are not defining factors of all individuals. I will continue my research into the topic, but the surface implications here are profound, but I digress. Lol. 

If you’d like to watch the sort recap video we put together for the 14th Annual Coalition of Schools Educating Boys of Color (COSEBOC) Virtual Gathering of Leaders click here and for more information on how to find the full talk from Dr. Shawn Ginwright’s keynote on Healing through Engagement please contact me directly or visit www.coseboc.org. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and subscribe to be alerted on new articles!

Full Video Link: https://youtu.be/oejjEh6KfLo